Meme Production: Where is Social Networking Headed, or, How I found Sex on the Internet with SafeSearch On

Do you know what a meme is?

Until recently, I did not. It took a while for me to grasp the concept and I needed to buy a book to get the full meaning.

I realize the following sounds like an ad. I apologize in advance.

Holy mother of God, did I find the right book! It is called Virus of the Mind by Richard Brodie, and was written in 1996. Richard is known also as the original programmer of Microsoft Word. The dude's got credentials.

In typical American fashion, I have read about half this book so far and I now consider myself an expert on the subject.

I am not going to go into any detail on what a meme is. If you do not know, get the book or go to this site. www.memecentral.com. Wikipedia may also prove helpful... perhaps. Lot's to say, though, so no explaining here.

The upshot of a meme is that an idea will spread, and that idea will have an impact. That is a very whitewashed and arbitrary definition.

Mr. Brodie drew a parallel between memes, genes, and computers. Memes spread like viruses (biological and computer) and "infect" others. Also, memes duplicate rapidly. The point of a virus or a meme is not entirely clear until we see the result, after the reproduction.

On the same token, human beings can be compared to memes. We reproduce, perhaps, not as rapidly as viruses, but we reproduce nonetheless. Richard shows some passion toward pointing out that our reproductive capacity is based solely on the spread of genes for the sake of finding out (from the gene's perspective) which genes spread fastest. (Again, read that book.)

Clearly human beings are, Darwin-ly speaking, fit to survive. But through memes, and with a nudge from Richard, we have another means of survival. Survival by ideas.

Thanks to the internet, and today's Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, among countless others, we are more than ever before able to make our print on society through memes. This is our new digital legacy.

I am not just talking about the "information superhighway" and the many hours google owes us all back after googling our own names. I am talking about impact. Will there come a day when what an individual says on the internet has more of an qualitative impact on our culture than any impact or influence he could have while raising a child of his own? Will there come a day when what EVERY individual says on the internet has an effect?

Imagine what that would mean for us all! If I told the world tomorrow that I like chicken and orange soda, is there potential that orange soda and chicken could be sold out at Seven-eleven? Would someone actually forgo sex because of my meme?

Well... I hope not...

These days we have so much information at our fingertips and so many more eyes on our interests, that I believe a tipping point (yep, read both halves of this one) can be reached.

What are your thoughts?

The Great Corn Syrup / iPhone Debate, Part 1: About Damn Time

I told my best friend a little while ago that my second post would be about comparing two unrelated topics. He and I both know I have nothing important to say. Wait, I'll rephrase that. Until I begin to take this whole blog thing seriously, I will continue to waste everybody's time. I am not ashamed.

Strong start.

So I told my friend I will write about High Fructose Corn Syrup and iPhones. Seemed innocent and stupid enough. Just my style; Random, Dumb. Being a follow-through kind of guy (emphasis on the Follow), I thought on the subject. I wrote down a few words, ate some store-bought apple pie, searched "Corn Syrup" in the App Store. You know, the usual research.

On a side note, and not surprisingly, I recieved my iPhone only a week or so ago. I have that to blame for my lack a sophomore post until now.

Actually, my first post is as much to blame for not following up as well. I keep telling myself not to delete it. Some day I will forget.

Ahem...

So, I've got some research under my belt. There is, in fact, no iCornSyrup App. I cant help but imagine what a Corn Syrup App would be about. Perhaps all the negative things it can do to you? Who would want to dedicate an entire app to just one ingredient? And who would buy it?

Speaking of, I am sure we have all heard of the ongoing paranoia among select groups against the use of High Fructose Corn Syrup. If you haven't heard, I'll give you a quick rundown. It causes cancer; It is an addiction; It causes laziness; It makes baby lab monkeys cry.

It's all uproven nonsense to me, but is somehow unavoidably non-negotiable; like Global Warming. It is funny how some arguments permeate and become truth.

I don't mean to begin a hard argument so soon.

I also don't mean to begin a comparison so soon (Afterall, we're having so much fun, right?), but let's use the same argument against iPhones. It causes cancer; It is an addiction; It causes laziness; It makes baby lab monkeys cry. This actually works! The big difference here is that every phone/PDA/computer has also seen the same claims made against it. iPhone is not so lonely as Corn Syrup in the debate, but this is another accepted, yet unproven truth.

This really is besides my point, though. My logic is much more simple. Juvenile.

We are dirty people. So dirty that Apple's latest iPhone hardware now has a coating on it to repel our disgusting matter from the otherwise streamlined, clean exterior. We really are selfish people.

On this day (meaning today), how many pounds of High Fructose Corn Syrup are currently stuck to the surfaces of iPhones all over the world? One granola bar worth? Two Apple Pies worth? One Hundred Gallons of Yogurt?

Maybe not so much the 3GS now, but what about the 3G? How many are sticky? How sticky can they get?

From the number of children who now own the devices, to the slobbish and untidy. From you picking up a McGriddle on your way to work, to me wishing I had one every morning. The two substances simply HAVE to come into contact sometime. The Law of Averages says so.

Some iPhones must be more saturated than others. While some iPhones (perhaps even yours) are spot free and clean, there must be some that are sticky. Not everyone cleans thoroughly, not everyone uses napkins, and there must be a small cross section that does neither.

It is really an interesting thought. Corn Syrup and iPhones have one important thing in common. Your grubby fingers.

As points go, that's as far as I'll take it for now. I'm calling this post Part 1, because I have yet to try to clean anything sticky off my iPhone. Perhaps one day I'll revist the subject and twist it into some rant about obesity and the downfall of American Society. Enjoy a few footnotes below I'm using to patch up the holes in a couple of my arguments.

Until next time...

Footnotes:

- By "Follow", I mean @HokieBill. Some day I'll link all this together and make it seamless...

- Global Warming will have to be a future post. Maybe, after I begin to take this seriously, or after you begin to take me seriously. Whichever comes first.

- I will never take Global Warming seriously.

- I'd love to talk about all the "unproven"-ness of my arguments, but I really just didn't feel like it. Even more fodder for future posts.

- I'd love to see what 100 gallons of yogurt looks like.

- Part 2?! Who am I kidding?

Does Anybody Care?

Yes, it's a Chicago reference. Probably the only time you'll hear that word here in reference to the band. That is to say, every time "Chicago" is mentioned after this post will be in relation to All That Jazz.

I know I did not choose the greatest topic title for a first-timer (assuming you are not a Chicago fan) but here you are reading this, so I must've done something correctly. And since you have not already clicked that blogger's nightmare Back button, you must either love females in fishnet stockings as much as I do, have an apathetic attitude towards your thesis paper due tomorrow about Einstein's Relativity, or you actually chose to Google the current time rather than look away from your Internet Browser.

Whatever the reason, thanks for stopping by!

Here I'll try to avoid the obvious cliches and vague descriptions that plague so much of the blogoshpere. What I mean by that, is I would rather go months without posting than post something like, "Not really sure what to say..." However, those are the first six words I drafted here after typing that horrendous title, and as I shuddered in my chair and swallowed the vomit back down I did what any good writer does before putting down brilliance; I held down backspace for a few seconds.

Yes, brilliance. It is, afterall, relative. Ask Einstein.

Considering that I have never blogged before, you might ask why I have chosen still to forge ahead despite that fact that I clearly decided beforehand that I would never post useless and unentertaining cliches, and then immediately fell into the same trap I thought I would avoid.

Think about it. I have created a paradox.

- I have never blogged
- I said will never blog stupidity
- Stupidity occurs within first blog post
- Blog gets posted

Awkward...

I don't think that question will get answered any time soon. If I confused you, I apologize. If not, I also apologize, just because you're still here. My logic is a step below flawed, and far left of strange.

At least we don't have to suffer the uncomfortable silences that would normally be experienced IRL. Unless, you went back to re-read; I think that would be the blogging equivalent of silence. If you did, please hit refresh so it counts.

I digress.

The current time is 10:40 PM. See, someone knows. I know that I know, and therefore we can feel optimistic about where this blog is headed. I like clocks.

Gee, the content of this post really has amounted to nothing more than those 6 words. Time to wrap it up. Sorry, I am not a content king. I am, however, a humorous man who feels there's a thought or two rattling around in his head that should be shared.

I know, I know, cliche. Brilliance is waning. No one can be a hit all the time; unless you are in, or wrote Chicago.